Tag Archives: parenting

The Trials of Parenting Teenagers

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2589379213_6d47384510 There is an Italian Proverb that says, “Little children, headache; big children, heartache.”  One of the biggest obstacles parents have is to not allow every mistake your child does reflect your parenting ability. 

Parents are imperfect, kids are imperfect, and many times when our kids are imperfect it does not mean you are a poor parent.  Sure there are parents who are the extreme and do not disciple their children, therefore the child acts out.  But I am speaking to the parents who do everything to the best of their ability but still have children who make poor choices. 

Part of me wanted to title this post, what happened to my three year old?  You know the one who, when he disobeyed was sent into a time out, after a few minutes was apologetic and once again everything was right with the world.    When you are raising a child that learns life’s lessons the hard way, prayer takes on a whole new meaning.  So does pride. If you have any issues with pride, having a teenager will help eliminate that. ha!

On some days I would tell you I love raising a child that is passionate.  They fight for what is right, they will not back down, and honestly they make the best friend to have.  Then there are other days when they have to learn things the hard way.  And by learning things the hard way, it is never something little.  It is something that can leave your whole family spinning for a month, a season, or even longer.

Before my boys became teenagers I was privileged to have a friend who walked the road of dealing with a rocky teenager.  What I saw was a parent clinging to their last rope, hurting, and afraid for their child.  I wish I could tell you Christians gathered around and supported this family,  unfortunately in this case there was not much support when they were hurting the worst.  Granted I felt helpless at times as their friend, but I was there to listen and to constantly pray for this family. 

Somehow every parent lives through raising teenagers, but let me tell you when you are in the midst of it some days are wonderful and exciting, other days leave you on your face before the Lord wondering if everything is going to come crashing down around you.

I have found though even during the hardest days, through the shedding of many tears, and prayers uttered….this mother would not trade one day of it for anything. I want my boys to look back one day and know this!

Do Not Grow To Fast

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He slumps into the car as I pick him up from school. I could tell he was not happy one bit. Middle brother was in the back talking up a storm so I could not interrupt and ask what was wrong. I hear chatter in the back on how “we” have an assignment of finding the best insulator for ice. Notice how all assignments are “we”, instead of “I”. (this picture is how I think of him) Anyways, we arrive home. And I get a chance to ask other brother what was wrong. He said shyly, “there is a girl in my class I like and she has another boyfriend.” My hand grip the steering wheel as my voice ever so sweetly says, “Oh do you know this boy, is he in your class?” “I don’t know his name, but I know who he is,” my son said. I gave him a big hug and told him I loved him, but also reminded him he is too young to have a girlfriend. For right now in your life, Mommy is your only gal. He smiled and gave me a big hug.

Now some of you might be thinking I am talking about my oldest (who is about to turn 13), which I could handle a little better. But NO I am talking about my 8 year old. My baby, my “he will never grow up” son, my “he will never leave his mother and will live near by me always son”.

Please plug your ears as I S. C. R. E. A. M !!!! (Sorry, I feel a little bit better) Ok I am having a hard enough time knowing my baby days are over. I know my 13 year old will seriously begin to really like girls, girls will be calling, and he will send me to the store to buy tons of deodorant. And I will be running back ground checks. But some how while I was not looking, it seemed to skip oldest son and went straight to my youngest. This just breaks my heart on so many levels. My youngest has always since day one wanted to be “the big boy”. He wanted to be like his big brothers, compete like his big brothers, etc.. And as far as sports go, he is my most competitive. He. Does. Not. Like. To. Lose.

But during his whole life I have tried to keep him my little boy. Does anyone else have this with their youngest? How come I am suddenly having this fear, the youngest will move out the day after high school graduation. I have this vision of me with my suitcase, yelling “wait you can’t move you are not old enough, I will come with you”. Ok I am kidding; I do look forward to more time with manly man.

But I want to keep my sons just the age they are right now. I am not dealing with teenage issues yet, they can feed themselves, they can go to the bathroom themselves. Yep, right now for each of them is the perfect age (12, 11, & 8). I think maybe I should declare no more birthday’s in this household. Do you think that would go over with the boys? Nah…me neither.


originally published Jan 10, 2007

Being A Mother of Boys

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Raising boys is not for the faint of heart. I am still not sure why the Lord chose me to be a Mother to these future men. I am raising boys that one day will be men of God, have strong spirits and a strong convictions in what they believe. But until that day when they can stand and give their testimony, I am the mother trying to keep the strong spirits under control. I am the Mother you will hear about in the “stories” from Godly men, of what they put their mother through. Yes, we had one of those mornings this last week. Anger flared, hormones were flying, and yes there was some physical contact that left two of the boys with red marks on their face (their doing to each other). These are the days I want to run and hide. Just the day before I was sitting with some parents watching our children practice soccer, they were in need of a coach (one had not been assigned to this team yet). One mother was teasing me and said, “Why don’t you coach soccer?” First when I got over my shock, I said, “because if they were my team, my only concern would be if they looked good while running up and down the field.” You see I am a girly girl, my brother and sister may not agree, but as I am becoming deeper and deeper into raising boys I am finding out that yes I am a girly girl who God gave all boys.

God is faithful though, he gives me patience when I want to explode, and has me stay and “instruct” when in reality I want run and close my door. As my oldest son matches me in height, and the voices are changing, the hormones are flying, I still see the wonderful men they will be one day. Since they have been small my faithful prayer has been, “Father if you are going to make them this much of a challenge to me, please take these boys and turn them into great men of God, for then I will be satisfied with whatever comes my way.”

originally published March 7, 2007