Changes Next Exit

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Many Sundays you can find me sitting in the pew at church belting out:

Here I am, Lord send me
All of my life, I make an offering,
Here I am, Lord send me
Somehow my story is a part of Your plan,
Here I am

I use to consider myself a “go with the flow” kind of girl.

You want me to go right Lord, ok I will go right.

I wish that is how easy it is for the Lord to lead me.

Slowly he is revealing I am a girl who does not care for change. I will step out and serve but when it comes to BIG changes I dig my heels and and my conversation with the Lord is something like this:

You want me to go right Lord?
Are you sure, straight ahead seems more clear.
Father I am already going straight so can I serve you this way?
Then I move on to..

Lord please don’t make me go right.
I am scared Lord.
(with tears and a tantrum close to a 2 year old I finally turn right)

How the Lord does not become exasperated with me I will never understand!

I stayed in a past job for 8 years, unhappy, but content where I was. Despite having a devotional published I slowly stopped writing. When you step out, your heart is vulnerable. I was weary of being hurt, so I sought the comfort of the safe.

The Lord is working on me, he is spurring me on. And he has convicted me on some advice I gave to my oldest son, I said:

“You are going to find that the Lord will only give you enough light to see your feet, your job is to abide in him and trust him to lead you.”

And while he is working in my heart, my son who is almost ready to graduate high school has accepted his first job in Minnesota. Two days after graduation he will be gone from my house all summer.

So many emotions. And I hear the Lord saying:

Here he is, send him.  (Changes, Next Right)

Transition is hard.  This blog may be the way I get through it, so bear with me.  I am one proud Mom, but I won’t lie, this is hard. Pray with me as I try really hard not to act like my normal two year old self and trust in the Lord when I only have enough light to see my feet.

 

The Path of Good Intentions to Weight Loss

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Earlier this year I joined weight watchers at work. I patted myself on the back for being proactive in maintaining my weight (or preferably losing weight) during a year I know I would like nothing more than to sit in my closet with my best friends Ben and Jerry. I knew when my oldest son became a senior in high school, I needed accountability when it came to eating.

Yeah well what do they say the path to good intentions lead?

I started off good, lost 5 pounds. Man this is easy.

Enter college applications and son completing them the s p e e d o f s n a i l. Next weight in I not only gained my 5 lbs back but an extra one to boot.

Then came Thanksgiving, where everyone gains. Thanksgiving was low key and I painted two bedrooms. When I went to weigh in again I lost the five pounds and an extra two. I was very proud that I managed to lose over Thanksgiving.

Enter college deadlines and snail son still completing the first application I gave him, then my grandmother passed, work drama…..

Well you see a cycle here. I want you to know though I am not a quitter. I am still trying to watch what I eat, but for some reason it looks a little like the meal plan below.

Something my Mom sent me. I laughed so hard because, well, umm this might be why my diet is not working.

Breakfast
1 grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast
1 cup skim milk

Lunch
1 small portion lean, steamed chicken
1 cup spinach
1 cup herbal tea
1 Hershey’s kiss

Afternoon Tea
The rest of the Hershey Kisses in the bag
1 tub of Hagen-Daaz ice cream with chocolate chips

Dinner
4 glasses of wine (red or white)
2 loaves garlic bread
1 family size supreme pizza
3 Snickers Bars

Late Night Snack
1 whole Sarah Lee cheesecake (eaten directly from the freezer)

And here I was blaming it on living in an all male household. I see the problem now, I need to eliminate the glasses of wine and then I should be good.

So how are your resolutions going?